Kids are our future

All children are born with all the virtues such as love, caring, consideration, excellence, helpfulness, humility...etc. Its the gifts within, waiting to grow. You may have noticed sometime or other a plant sprouting up through the concrete of a city street. The urge to growth is one of the strongest needs of any living thing.

What a child becomes is a result of four things: nature, nurturance, opportunity, and effort.

Nature is a child's natural giftedness or virtues "profile." Although each child has all the virtues within them in potential to one degree or another, the potential for the development of certain virtues is greater in a particular child.

Nurturance is how a child is educated, how his gifts are recognized and supported, the difference between watering a plant and letting it wilt.

The opportunities children have to act on their virtues give them the possibiity to become who they are. A great musician of world class creativity without an instrument may never learn of the special music she has within her.

Effort is a child's responsibility, his ability to respond to the opportunities to practice the virtues. Ultimately it is the choice of a child to act on her own potential. It is said that God provides nature and a parent provides nurture. The child himself must choose to respond to the opportunities in his life. Choice is at the core of moral will.

Authentic self-esteem and real happiness come naturally as children experience the emergence of their virtues. There is nothing more delightful than the look of love which comes over a baby's face, or the wonder and reverence experienced by a three year old examining a puddle or a leaf, the pride of purposefulness when children learn to tie their shoes or ride a bicycle.

Adolescents are, by nature, fierce idealists, looking for a unique way to make a difference, an impact on the world. When idealism is thwarted, it becomes rebellion for the sake of rebellion, but when it is honored and suported, nothing can stop a young man or woman from passionate service. There are communities which have discovered this secret and have dramatically reduced youth crime by giving their young people opportunities to be of service in their own creative ways.

Virtue is sometimes associated with perfectionism. When it comes to human being, to be perfect does not mean to be flawless. It means to be whole and complete. Part of the completeness of being spiritually alive and aware is to accept our flaws, our mistakes, and our failings as teachable opportunities which can bring us new learning.

It is in working with the virtues which we have over or underdeveloped that we find the energy for new growth. Life is not about being perfect. It is about perfecting or cultivating our virtues. Perfection is the process of bringing our gifts to fruition.

How can parents support children to meet their spiritual needs for mastery and meaning? First, by seeing our children as the potential spiritual and moral champions that they are, beings with an incredibly deep sense of purpose. Seeing our children gives us the will to mentor them, to become good coaches. Rather than indulging them in physical or material ways or over protecting them from their spiritual challenges, we become excellent at supporting excellence.

We have such a short but critical time in which to have a fundamental impact on the development of their character, which is the greatest asset for their happiness. Much of their character development is complete by the time they turn seven.

Who are our children?

A child is a spiritual being

A child who is brought into the world to grow in body, mind, and spirit. Therefore parents are the first and most important teacher. To teach a child well is to bring out the best in him. Most of us or I should say that everyone of us want the best for our children. For making sure that they have enough food, clothes, hugs, toys and friends to giving them the best education we can afford. We want them to do well, marry well, and to have a healthy children. We want to see them happy and successful. We wish them the best. What's best for them has everything to do with what is best in them. Virtues are the good natures of a child. The virtues are gems in the mine of the true self. A parent is meant to mine a child's gem and bring them to light.

Children are longing for Mastery and Meaning

Children are born with a mysterious longing for mastery and for meaning. To keep learning, to keep stretching, to keep reaching for more. This is a deep spiritual need, a yearning of the soul which is often misinterpreted in the course of our lives as physical or material neediness.

If only we had more popularity, more money, more love, more power, a better job, then we would be happy. Yet when we attempt to fill this longing by something physical or material, something external to the self, we remain unsatisfied.

Sometimes we seek addictive ways to become numb to the pain of this longing, and we are left feeling even emptier, because only a connection to our spiritual purpose will truly fill the need. Some consider this purpose our connection with God. It is the call to realize our innate sense of wholeness and the move toward wholeness which is at the core of spiritual growth. Nothing else will give us genuine happiness.

parents are like mirror to their own kids

Today, I was watching a Television commercial about a mother driving her daughter home from school. The daughter poked her tongue out to some kid on the street and her mother said to her. "I thought you're friends with him." The daughter said to her mother, "no, he's a bloody idiot". Mother replied, "where do you learned such filth?

Syddenly, they almost had a car accident with a speeding vehicle coming towards them. The mother turn around screaming at the driver "you bloody stupid idiot can't you see I have a kid on the car. They had dinner on that evening and dad said to the daughter " your mother is a good cook". The daughter replied "bloody oath".

The moral of the story is that the mother is like a mirror to her daughter. She is the reflection of her own child. Being a parent is the most important and complex task on the planet. Mum and Dad are the first and most important educators in a childs life. Unfortunately, children don't come with instruction manuals.

Many research have done on parental guidance and how to raise up kids. Much have been written by professionals and people with experince. Not to mention ongoing scientific research about emotional and psychological health of children and families. Celebrity talk shows such as Dr Phil, Oprah Winfrey have raised the issue on family values, problem kids and parental guidance.

But what has yet to be adressed is -how to exposed the spiritual virtues within our children. Virtues are described as the qualities of the soul and the attributes of God such as kindness, love, respect, trust, excellence and caring are within each and everyone of us.

So how can we put these virtues into practice?

Here are 4 key principles:

1. Parent is the first educator of the child - A parent is a trustee, a guardian, a steward who is here to love and guide this new person, particularly in the early years. Research shows that children brains begin learning, actually processing information, even before birth.
2. Children natural qualities can develop into postive or negative traits depending on how they are educated in early age - This is one of my favourite subject. Children are born with potential abilities to be a better person or not. They are born with all the virtues, the gifts within, waiting to grow. Lets take that TV commercial in the beginning as an example, it common sense to say that if a child grows up in a home where swearing is a everday habit than he or she will continue to do the same. But if that child grow up in a patience evironment than it will be the opposite.
3. Character develops as children learn to make responsible, moral choices - The child himself must choose to respond to the opportunities in his life. Choice is at the core of moral will. There is nothing more delightful than the pride of purposefulness when children learn to tie their shoes or ride a bicycle, the confidence when they present anything infront of their classmates. A child making you a birthday present, even though it just a scrible drawing in a piece of paper, brings a feeling of true fulfillment. "I made it myself, Mom!" So the idea is to let them be responsible, don't do anything for them if they already know how to do it. But encouraging them every step of the way.
4. Self-esteem is a natural outcome of living by spiritual principles - Authentic self esteem and real happiness come naturally as children experince the using of virtues.